Ramble sesh #1

This is a rambling blog. Hope you enjoy.

It's currently 4:32 AM and I am in bed, wide awake, watching paid programming / some movie with Tom Hanks which does not interest me one bit . I have the worst sleep schedule ever mostly when I'm home. I'm not really sure what I should be writing right now or why I'm typing this. I guess it's just a way of not losing my mind. There are so many things in life that I want and I feel like they are the furthest they have ever been. Would life be better if we got everything we wanted ? Do things happen for a reason? That, I'm not too sure of. I've always been a type of person to get up, get out and make things happen. I still operate that way but for some reason it doesn't feel the same. I can't tell If I'm losing my mind because I'm home or I've just lost it. I think it's a little bit of both. So much has changed over the last year, I don't know where to begin. I started touring more and more to the point where I couldn't remember the last time I was home. My car fell apart forcing me to junk it. I broke up with my girlfriend of 2+ years last May and have been dealing with the feeling of being alone since. It's something I don't have much experience with. It's feels like I've always had someone and I'm just used to it. It's nice to know if everything came crashing down that someone would still be there. I can honestly say, that I'm done searching for that someone. When the time is right, A great girl will be in my life. Does this mean that I am currently unhappy with my life and will be a miserable dude until then? No. I know this blog doesn't make it seem like everything is a-okay. I'll assure you, I'm doing just fine. I am just in a very strange state of mind. 2010 will be interesting. Hey, I'm alive right?. That is all. I need to sleep. Perhaps, I will start updating this blog more often. Perhaps.......

- J